August 28, 2018
the worldrace was over but the journey continued
It’s hard to believe that I have been home from the worldrace for one year. Feels like yesterday I was walking on dirt paths inviting Ugandan children to game nights where we danced til dark, watching my teammate give the shirt off her back (literally) to a woman in need, showering in a dark “room” with a only a bucket, worshipping with John feeling like I’m apart of a gospel choir, laughing at one of Matt’s stories even though I’ve heard it a thousand times, sneaking videos of my squad-mates randomly attacking each other (Bry & Tay), eating empanadas in South America, trying to cross the street without dying in Asia, playing card games while watching the snow fall in Serbia, listening to Elise talk about Taco Bell, Marissa just being Marissa, deep conversations, praying with the taxi driver, many long bus rides, homesickness, physical sickness, abandonment, laughing endlessly, praying daily, loving each other fiercely. Community that reflects heaven. Worship that brings Glory to our creator. Friends that will always be close to my heart. Yeah, it feels like yesterday.
God told me to go on the worldrace during a moment while I was weighing the options I had after graduation. I remember thinking about all the little things I would miss out on if I left for 11 months. Then, God said, “If you stay, you’ll be sacrificing much more than if you go.” I knew in that moment that I needed to go on the worldrace. I knew God had big plans for me, and I wasn’t willing to settle for mediocracy. What he had in store for me outweighed everything I could’ve planned for myself. I wish I could fit into this blog how absolutely beautiful, life changing, and growing those 11 months were.
One year later I can look back on the way my life has looked since returning home from such a whirlwind adventure. Just like the worldrace, it has not always been easy. Jesus never promised it would be. But the journey continues, the growth, the pain, and the abundance has continued far beyond all that the worldrace offered me.
August 28, 2019
Grief. Today, as the journey continues I realize that my current journey has been one of grief. More “see ya laters” with loved ones, and God continually bringing me into deep, emotional abandonment. On December 14th, 2017 I wrote a blog called “Where’s The Beef?” where I talked about abandonment. In it I said, “Abandonment is about letting go of things that make you comfortable and trusting that God will be enough.” It’s funny, when I wrote that I was in Bolivia, and I was talking primarily about food. Never did I think that one day I would have to move across the country and abandon my home.
If you know me at all you know I have a deep love for everything about Oregon. The trees, the rain, the coffee, the country western dancing, rodeos, fishing, rivers, lakes, ocean, mountains, cool evenings, scenery, and above all; my family and friends. Yet here I am, in Georgia. Something I have realized through this move is that it isn’t actually walking in full obedience if you are just doing it because you have to. God told me to move to Georgia, and here I am, but true obedience and abandonment requires more than simply doing what is asked of us. It requires trust and faith, which are foundational to our relationship with God. We are not robots operating out of a do this/do that mentality. We are sons and daughters, with a father who doesn’t just want to make a plan for us—He wants to be brought into our plan and he wants to be enough to satisfy us.
Honestly, this has been the hardest act of obedience for me because I don’t know how long I will be living here and that scares me. His past faithfulness is key, he has always been faithful and he has always kept his promises. So, in this season I am trusting that he is enough and it actually doesn’t matter where I am, what matters is that I trust him fully.
While I am deeply sad and missing Oregon, there has been so much beauty in this new season of life. I have the privilege and amazing opportunity to lead a group of young adults who are going through the same program I recently went through, with opportunities to be intentional, pour out what God has gifted me in, and teach on subjects I am passionate about. It has been extremely life giving, and I absolutely love what I’m doing here.
Aside from living in Georgia and starting this internship, God has brought me an amazing man of God who has been a beautiful picture of Christs love and humility in my life. It’s truly amazing how perfects God’s timing is, and I’m happy to share my life with you all.
Thanks for reading!
